waiting for the phone

Today I waited all day by the phone.  Partially because it was in my pocket, but really, I was waiting for a friend of mine to call.  Of course, he didn’t.  I know that I really should let it go, but it still dampened my spirits….  today started out as a nice day, you know; I went to school with my sister, and hung out, took notes and such, whilst sitting on our picnic blanket… it was so beautiful today!  I wish it reflected my mood…. anyway!  but then I ended up stayin on FPU’s campus all day… I mean, what else could I do, cause I don’t drive, but… seems like I could’ve worked out something better… I had all day free, just studying, and I was hoping to hang out with my chum, M.  Of course, he never answered his phone, or my texts.  So there’s that.  Then my classmate, P, is freaking out over our exam in History tomorrow.  So we decide to study together. 

Long story short: she accidentally took my notes, and I guess it didn’t occur to her to turn around and bring them BACK, so I could USE them, although I don’t really even know if I need them… but it’s freaking me out! and I’m just…. I’m so apathetic now.

SO apathetic.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my life, and next semester…. I don’t want to go to school anymore.  I don’t know why.  I just don’t.  And my mother wants me to register for classes, and I waited too long, so I’m waitlisted for most of my classes, and I don’t know… What is my problem? who doesn’t want to expand their brain?  who doesn’t want to learn more about everything? what’s wrong with that?! I don’t know! and I don’t know why it’s so DAMN hard for me to want to learn.  but it is…. I’m really restless, lately… and anxious… and just plain old angry.

Whatever…. this was just a pointless rant… and no one really cares or reads this anymore, so goodbye.  maybe I’ll feel better if i wash my stupid hair.


2 Responses to “waiting for the phone”

  1. EliRiello Says:

    ummm… feel better?
    so you hung out at fpu, eh?  lucky.
    ily, eli

  2. EthanByUntitled Says:

    Honestly, not everything seems interesting to me. Particularly when it’s in the abstract, like a classroom that tells you about the way WWII affected Western Europe, as opposed to being there, talking to the people, and feeling the atmosphere over that place.That’s what I think. Because people are built to be experiential.Livly, why you not driving?

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